Yes, we are going out side and it is frickin’ cold/I am not Superman.
Jay is looking cooler and cooler everyday. He is so amazing. It has been cold here for weeks I am talking -19F. So what do you do when it is cold… go outside.
We had fun/
Well it has been a long time since I blogged. I have definitely started to break down. I have started calling in my friends and family. They have been staying with me and helping me with day to day things.
I have been having trouble sleeping, trouble at work, trouble taking care of Jay, trouble taking care of myself and it has all finally caught up to me.
My heart rate and blood pressure have been abnormal. I woke up a couple of days ago at 3AM and found myself unable to breath. It felt like there was not oxygen in the room, I could exchange air, but could not breath it. I opened the window and it did not help. My heart was at 100 BPM at rest. This scared me… So I went to my Doctor and basically told her I thought I was ill. She listened and asked me questions and as we talked I started to break down emotionally. She told me that I was exhibiting classic signs of a panic attack. She said it was normal for a person that had been through this.
So I guess I am not superman… thank God!
I am on a mild anti depressant… never thought I would be here.
But I feel remarkabley better, better than I have for over a year.
I forgot what feeling good felt like.
Painfully yours.
Keith
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Hey Keith
(
It sounds like things are tough for you right now – but then, in all honesty, I’d be more worried if you were doing fine. Please know that we are still praying for you lots and thinking of you lots too. I’ve got Jay’s birthday gift here, which I will endeavour to mail this week. I know his birthday will be bittersweet for both of you
I recognised your symptoms almost immediately. I’m glad you are getting help.
We’re not close enough to pop in and look after you, but should you ever fancy a break in the Frozen North of England (although not quite as cold as you are!) you are always more than welcome.
I *wish* I could make everything better for you, I really do. I can’t but I can be a friend.
Much, much love
Rae
Rae - January 25, 2009 at 4:45 pm
I don’t know you … I stumbled here through a series of blogs. I just wanted to say how much I appreciated your candor … it’s compelling.
May today you receive abounding grace to find peace in the pieces,
–jamie
Jamie Sullivan - January 27, 2009 at 1:29 pm
Keith and Jay,
It has been a while since I checked the blog but today I did. It really does sound like things are tough for you right now, but I am so glad that you are getting some help. It is amazing how we try to keep going because we have to, or so we think. Reach out to friends that are close. They really do want to help you. Take time for you. Because if you don’t take care of you, you can’t take care of Jay. Know that if you ever need to talk, or just know that everyone on G70 is thinking of you. You can always call any of us there. Give Jay a hug and tell him to give you one.
Thinking of you and sending hugs,
Beth Steward Voynovich
Beth Steward Voynovich - January 28, 2009 at 12:24 am
Hi
well actually you are doing better than superman because superman didnt have to go through what u ve been through!
and despite of all the pain and the sadness, you keep the blog uptodate, and show how well your are doing with Jay taking to play “soccer” ,organizing his birthday party, we always seing him smile on the photos/video… you are caring more than you realize and I am sure Melaine is proud of you.
So superman should be ashamed of being so “un”super! ah ah
ingrid and peter - February 6, 2009 at 2:19 pm