I am constantly going through little bits of Mélaine’s things. My house is like a lost and found. She had many purses. Today I found a pen, a “sweety” that i gave her a long time ago, some lotion, and homeopathic teething meds for Jay when he was young. Also, and I had been thinking about this, I found a USB flash drive. On it was her CV, and all of the books she had written. Very cool!
This week has been harder for me than most others. I don’t know why, but I accept that although I feel I am dealing with her death “well”, there is a tremendous about of hurt and loss inside me. So although I am “getting on with it”, I am really sad…
This morning, Jay put on his Mummy’s little necklace. He keeps it in the Italian music box that he bought for her on her pretend birthday. The music box was softly playing and he put the necklace on so carefully, I lost it. I had tears running down my cheeks and I could not talk. And he said, It is OK to be sad Papa and patted me on my shoulder and gave me a kiss… It made me cry even more, but mostly because I was so proud of him. He reminds me of his Mummy.
I guess my emotions were lost too… and Jay found them.
American boy in Indiana 