Yes, we are going out side and it is frickin’ cold/I am not Superman.

Posted: January 25, 2009 in Jay, Keith, Pictures


Jay is looking cooler and cooler everyday. He is so amazing. It has been cold here for weeks I am talking -19F. So what do you do when it is cold… go outside.

We had fun/

Well it has been a long time since I blogged. I have definitely started to break down. I have started calling in my friends and family. They have been staying with me and helping me with day to day things. 

I have been having trouble sleeping, trouble at work, trouble taking care of Jay, trouble taking care of myself and it has all finally caught up to me.

My heart rate and blood pressure have been abnormal. I woke up a couple of days ago at 3AM and found myself unable to breath. It felt like there was not oxygen in the room, I could exchange air, but could not breath it. I opened the window and it did not help. My heart was at 100 BPM at rest. This scared me… So I went to my Doctor and basically told her I thought I was ill. She listened and asked me questions and as we talked I started to break down emotionally. She told me that I was exhibiting classic signs of a panic attack. She said it was normal for a person that had been through this.

So I guess I am not superman… thank God!

I am on a mild anti depressant… never thought I would be here.

But I feel remarkabley better, better than I have for over a year.

I forgot what feeling good felt like.

Painfully yours.



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